I have an exercise plan! In order to motivate myself to study, from my payday onwards, i will set aside $200. Each time i exercise more than 30 min a day, i can to "withdraw" $20. So it will kinda feels like i'm rewarded or paid to exercise! If i did not "withdraw" everything by the end of the month, the remainder will auto go into my savings. And if i manage to consistently exercise, by the end of all the withdrawal, it has already become a habit. HEE! For those zai in exercise pple, please do not laugh at me. Exercise once or twice is easy when i can hype up. But consistency in it is my problem! Will be trying that out! But if from now till payday i can already be consistent in working out then it saves all the silly trouble! MUAHAHHAHAHA!!

A genuine person always lifts me up! Thank you Baby for letting me see you every night as i go to sleep, everyday when i wake up. *love*

Proverbs 26:22-24 (Amplified Bible)

"The words of a whisperer or slanderer are like dainty morsels or words of sport (to some, but to others are like deadly wounds); and they go down into the innermost parts of the body (or of the victim's nature).

Burning lips (uttering insincere words of love) and a wicked heart are like an earthen vessel covered with the scum thrown off from molten silver (making it appear to solid silver).

He who hates pretends with his lips, but stores up deceit within himself."


I do not wish to defend myself. Though it still weighs me down sometimes. But those who will believe in me, has already believed in me. I'm not going to try to convince anyone. To the ones who speak about me, i just hope u let go of this thing that exhaust u. It's not worth it.

I'm glad to have an Awesome husband. I know i will not want to love another person this much. Not this measure, not this "alive"love that keeps multiplying themselves. Lots of pple ask me casually, "how's married life?" and i always answer, "no different from dating life". And they all go like WOW! but to me it's not a WOW thing. We just live our lives like that. True from the beginning, being fully ourselves, and married life didn't make that much of a difference. Just that we know we gave a commitment promise to each other. My Baby never fails to make me smile. He can simply make me angry and then make me laugh. Dun ask me how.. I have no idea i just can't get too angry at him for too long.. Dedicating to my dearest husband, he charms me like no one does. :)

I live by this knowing that everyone yearns to be understood. One way or another. To the extend that they go a little cunning to get their point across, or get real needy like they can never be satisfied no matter how much assurance you give. It is so hard to comfort those that refuse to be comforted, some of them just not understanding why they are going through what they are going through. It can result to all sorts of crazy stuff. And at some point you just feel like slapping them awake and say i'm human also ok!

But the difference comes.. When one good heart person is misunderstood. And that person is an understanding person. Thinking for everyone around him, forcing himself to be strong so that he loved ones will not worry. Dun misunderstanding wrong. It can be major things like slander and accusation. It can also be assumption. Assuming that he can handle it, assuming that he is strong enough, assuming he is this kind of person.. that kind of person.. etc. It aches my heart when i comfort this kind of person. It's only when u really understand his situation, then you can bring comfort. Not by powerful methods, not by saying "move on lah". But really when it's time to be sad, it's time to be sad. At a certain stage, it's ok to cry. But also most importantly at one point we should stop crying.

Alot of pple esp when they go into adulthood, they turn into bottling. Bottling up what they really feel. It's true that burying act will numb the pain. But if one day, something triggers, it can be a song, a familiar environment, a scene in a movie, words from pple, just something that trigger that little hole left unburied, it erupts. And we'll be at a worse loss that we have Never really did move on. Never really did get stronger. For me, i would rather cry at the moment when i need crying the most. Get myself to slowly understand so that one day when something triggers that memory, i have the reason n strength to smile. Pain can still be there.. I never believe that time heals all wounds. Maybe i'm just stubborn. To me when you never ans a qn within yourself, it will forever remain as a question. Ever remembers a tune but forgot the song title? n that unresolved feeling is super irritating n bothering? It's something like that but in a very emotional way. If you are having a problem and u know u can do something about it or at least deal with yourself, dun bury it. Time will not solve that problem, understanding n strength will. Don't plant a bomb within yourself and u don't even hold that remote control. *With Love*

So many times i met pple including myself feel lousy sometimes when we "try too hard". It can be out of a good heart and motivation and doing a good thing. But if that thing you do is not really YOU or beyond YOU, you might sometimes get fearful, feeling lousy and a hunger for assurance that can never be filled. But i sincerely believe that you don't need to be more than yourself. What you are lacked with, God will provide. I find myself most happy and fulfilled when i'm just myself. of coz many things i ought to be better but if it's beyond be or pretending to be someone else. i find myself miserable. So i truly believe, be nothing more than yourself. Give your best and actually it's more than enough if it's your ground to take :)